Take up space.
The way that you are meant to.
Take up space and hold it.
For yourself.
Can you lift your hands up when you're alone and just take up all of the space around you? And can you do that without feeling silly or guilty?
Sleeping alone (each night or whenever you’re away from your bed-sharing partner) do you ever stretch to fill up the whole bed? If you'd do, great, but if you always find yourself curled up on one edge of it, you might want to ask yourself why that is. Even if you think you like it, explore. Sometimes we teach ourselves to “like” the things we believe we are just stuck with… instead of daring to get unstuck and allowing for something different, something better to come into play. Because you deserve to take up all of the bed. This isn’t to say you need to sleep like a starfish all the time, but do stretch once in a while and maybe sleep more in the center? Own it. Own your space. And fill it with you.
So many of us are afraid to do it. So many of us feel like we can’t, we shouldn’t or aren’t allowed to. To stretch, both literally and figuratively. To expand our bodies (and our selves) and fill up the space that surrounds us.
I used to be one of them. I didn’t know I could take up space. I took up as little as possible and whenever I’d take up any more I’d immediately feel guilty for it. Especially if it ever made me feel good in any way. I’d immediately shut it down and allow my inner critics to bully me with never-ending: how-dare-you’s and who-do-you-think-you-are’s… It’s taken years to get them to take the back seat. They still talk, as they always will, but their talk is quieter, and most importantly, it doesn’t trigger an emotional response anymore. I now understand where it’s coming from and I can give it compassion and accept it fully. And though very difficult at first, it’s definitely gotten easier with practice.
But even now, whenever I’m not as mindful as I’d like to be, my mind sometimes slips back into the old conditioning. It doesn't run my life anymore, though. And I'm so grateful for that. It’s certainly been a process, full of ups and downs, but it started with me becoming curious and questioning my inability to freely take up space- first physically, with my body and then, in how I lived my life.
So in case taking space doesn’t seem to come naturally to you, know that you’re not alone.
Be kind to yourself.
Start by making it a physical practice, maybe in your bed, on your yoga mat, or when taking a walk out in nature. It’ll probably feel awkward and weird at first, but your body will remember what it’s forgotten, it’ll begin to communicate it to your mind and with time, this ability will spill into the other areas of your life.
You don’t need permission to take up space, you are worthy of it just as you are.
Take it. Fill it with you. Own it. And hold it for you.
That’s how you were designed to be.
That's how we grow, transform and ultimately thrive.
Not contracted and small, but expansive and expanded- in body, mind, spirit and action.